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So what do you look for when deciphering a Healthy vs Toxic Friendship? Nowadays, friendship is somewhat more challenging than it used to be "back in the day." Social circles are more difficult to juggle. Nevertheless, the idea of carrying a BFF with you from childhood to being a young adult is something to be treasured.
No one wants to cut off people with whom they develop solid relationships, even if these might classify as toxic.
With a friendship, it's tough to tell when it's time to step back and set some boundaries. Many believe that friends should stay strong through hard times and the best. "Thick as thieves," through good times and bad. But, unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to make new ones.
That can often mean overlooking adversity in favor of the relationship. But how often does that happen to your detriment and not this person? How often are you empathetic or providing compassion, but in your time of need, you suffer in silence?
With besties, there should be some give and take. So let's examine some warning signs that your friend is toxic and not healthy for you.
Best friends consider each other's feelings in everything they do. The other person is the first to know whether something awesome happens or a dire circumstance. Whatever support is necessary, each offers that to the other.
In a toxic situation, the relationship is one-sided, with one person getting all the time attention, draining the other person's resources. Many of us hold onto these relationships quite honestly out of loyalty. However, it's important to remember, as grandma would say - "a true friend wouldn't treat you like that."
Look at these warning signs to determine if your relationship is dragging you down.
Plans are only sometimes possible when something like work crops up or someone gets sick. Still, if you find yourself alone constantly while your friend is out having a good time with someone else, plus the person continues to lie, you need to stop making plans with them.
You might get some pushback when you need to share your time between your best friend and maybe a romantic partner, other people in your social circle, or family members.
If this person were a true friend, they would want you to go out and enjoy yourself, do other things, and have individual interests, plus they would do the same.
Someone demanding your time and attention or who becomes jealous because you're involved with other people disrespects your boundaries and is indeed unhealthy for you.
When you're not together, personal details that you share with your best friend are leaked by the individual to other people. When trust is broken, it's not something you can readily rebuild if it can ever be rediscovered.
There wouldn't be any excuse for someone breaking your personal confidence except a complete disregard for your feelings. This is where you need to consider easing away from this particular friend for your greatest good.
The loyalty and dedication that you find meaningful should be returned. But, unfortunately, the relationship takes more of a toll on you than providing the joy and happiness most friends would bring.
You don't necessarily need to end friendships outright. Sometimes it's possible to hold onto the relationship. However, if that's what the two of you decide to do, an understanding has to be established that things will start fresh on different terms.
That will mean specific boundaries that can't be crossed without consequences, including an end to the relationship.
If the friendship has to end, that doesn't mean the end of the world. While it might feel like you won't be able to make new friends, and it can be tough nowadays to juggle an exceptionally hectic schedule with socializing, it is possible.
You'll find numerous young adult support groups, online communities, forums, social media networks, and "Your Friend Community.
That particular group is an ideal place to help you learn tips and tricks for connecting with like-minded people. Friendship doesn't have to be unhealthy.
While you can sustain a childhood friendship into adulthood, it might transition slowly. You don't have to end the relationship, but it is essential to establish limits on what is acceptable and what's not.
If boundaries aren't respected, you must look out for your greatest good instead of catering to one-sided toxicity. That means moving forward into healthier, more meaningful friendships.
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